Gary and Morris and the Christmas Cookoff

Everyone’s two favourite cats, Gary and Morris, were lounging around the Hervey Foundation for Cats on a cool wintery day. Christmas was right around the corner and the two of them had spent the last couple of weeks watching Marjorie and her volunteers prepare the house for the festivities.

“Another one?” said Gary, as Marjorie brought an artificial Christmas tree out of its box and began to assemble it.

“It’s that time of year,” said Morris.

“I do love watching the little ones around all this stuff,” Gary replied.

Marjorie had just placed the middle portion of the tree onto the base when an army of kittens poured over the box and onto the tree.

“You silly little kitties!” she exclaimed. “Where’d you come from?”

The kittens began crawling all over Marjorie and the tree.

“Okay, let’s not climb on my sweater,” she said, gently picking them up and putting them back on the floor.

Gary and Morris giggled then jumped down and went over to the tree to give her a hand. The kittens respected their larger housemates and started to move out of the way when they walked up.

Gary immediately went over to Marjorie and rubbed his head against her forearm.

“Hello boys!” she said. “Are you excited for the holidays?”

Marjorie pet both cats on the head and then finished putting the tree together.

“There we go! Another one done!” she said, as she picked it up and moved it into the front entrance area. “It’s almost time to start my baking for this year’s cookoff!”

For the last couple of years, Marjorie and her friends held a pre-Christmas potluck dinner where attendees would bring over something sweet or savoury, and the group would choose a winner and a runner-up for best dish.

Marjorie usually made something savoury. The first year she entered the contest, she made a cake, but one of the kittens had quietly made their way onto the counter and fell into a bowl of flour. After that, she pivoted for some time. This year, though, it was time to bake again. As Marjorie stood up and made her way to the kitchen, Gary and Morris started thinking.

“I wonder what mom is going to make this year,” said Gary.

Morris sat there thinking.

“Why don’t we ever make anything?” he asked.

“Lack of thumbs?” Gary replied.

“Seriously,” said Morris. “We should do something with our friends who aren’t hibernating. Maybe we can all put something together and do what Mom does. Let’s have a Christmas cookoff and a little party!”

Gary thought about it for a bit, then agreed.

“I’m not sure what we will bring,” he said. “But I think it’d be pretty fun to do something like that. We could hold it in the shop!”

“Where it’s heated!” said Morris. “Brilliant idea!”

“Let’s go down to the forest and see who would be interested,” Gary said.

“Who from the forest is still awake these days?” Morris asked.

“Let’s find out!” said Gary, as he headed towards the back door.

By now, Marjorie was in the kitchen working on her baking. Burl Ives’ Holly Jolly Christmas was playing and there was a small audience of cats watching her do her thing. Periodically she would have to remove a kitten from the counter, but it was going well otherwise.

“You guys are so cute, but you can’t be up here!” Marjorie said as she moved another kitten from on top of the counter to a chair in the dining room.

Since the oven was on, the kitchen had grown quite warm, and Marjorie opened the inner back door to offset the heat without realizing the storm door wasn’t fully latched.

Gary used his pointy snout to push the back door open and off they went from the warm kitchen into the cool, dark, wintery air.

“Whoo boy!” shouted Gary. “It’s cold out here!”

The cats darted across the backyard and down into the valley, just where the forest’s edge meets their property. The snow wasn’t too deep yet, but the air sure was crispy.

The first stop they made was to Bullwinkle’s cabin. They could see some smoke billowing out the chimney and knew he must be up to something.

As they approached, they saw Lou the deer outside with Bullwinkle, trying to give him instructions on how to hang some Christmas lights with his antlers.

“Gary! Morris! Hello there,” said Lou.

“Boys! How are ya?” Bullwinkle asked.

“Things are great!” they replied. “What are you up to?”

Bullwinkle explained that he and Lou were walking by a local business when they saw a bunch of boxes of Christmas lights out behind their loading dock.

“One of the lights on each string is burned out. We think that’s why they must have thrown them out,” said Lou. “We decided to not let them go to waste and bring them here to put around the cabin.”

“Bullwinkle, you need a hand there?” asked Morris, who jumped up onto the moose and then onto the roof of the cabin.

“Putting the lights on my antlers is the easy part, but it’s a little challenging getting the lights off of them and onto the roof.”

“Let me help you,” said Morris, who grabbed the light string in his teeth and moved it into position.

Taking note of what was happening, Gary hopped up and helped them too. Eventually, the whole cabin had lights wrapped around it.

“Thanks, fellas!” said Bullwinkle. “Looks great!”

“What brings you down?” asked Lou.

The cats hopped down onto the ground and the animals all went inside where a nice warm fire was burning in the fireplace.

“We were thinking of having a Christmas cookoff!” said Morris.

“What is that?” asked Bullwinkle.

“It’s something the humans do,” said Gary. “They all prepare something to eat, then they get together and eat everything, and at the end, they announce winners for the best dishes.”

“Interesting,” said Bullwinkle. “But we all have different diets.”

“True,” said Morris. “If we invite enough people, we should have enough variety to make it work.”

“I assume we will have it at my place?” said Bullwinkle.

“You might be off the hook this time,” said Gary. “We can have it inside the shop at The Foundation! When my mom leaves to go to her party, we can let everyone inside.”

“It’s nice and warm!” Morris added.

“Who else should we invite?” asked Gary. “Who else isn’t hibernating this year?”

“I saw the raccoons the other day,” said Bullwinkle. “Oh! And I saw Dave the fox yesterday. Gilbert is still here too. He just winterproofed his nest.”

The cats looked up just as Gilbert the crow flew in from a quick trip around the neighbourhood.

“Hello, Gary! Hello Morris!” he said. “What brings you to our neck of the woods?”

“We are inviting you to our Christmas cookoff!” Morris shouted up to him.

“A cookoff? What do I bring?” asked Gilbert.

“Christmas cheer!” said Morris with a grin. “But seriously, bring whatever you want – something you like to eat!”

The animals laughed and chatted for a little while longer. Gilbert and Bullwinkle agreed to spread the word to as many of their friends as possible.

The plan was to get together just after sundown, and when Marjorie leaves for her party, Gary and Morris would signal the animals using the back patio light at the Foundation.

The cats ran back to their house to start making their dishes. Being carnivores, they knew whatever they brought needed to have some protein to it – and being cats, the smellier, the better.

Once back at The Foundation, the cats slipped back into the house where they were greeted with a clean kitchen and a beautiful smell. Marjorie had finished baking and cleaned up after herself. She was now in another room getting ready for the dinner.

“What is that?” asked Morris.

“I think it’s coming from up there,” said Gary.

The cats jumped on the counter where they saw 5 beautiful, steaming-hot fruit pies; apple, blueberry, peach, blackberry and rhubarb.

“These would be great for our forest friends!” said Morris.

“But mom made them for her party,” Gary replied.

“Help me with it,” Morris said quickly.

“What?!” Gary asked.

“Let’s grab this one, she doesn’t need all five!” Morris replied.

Gary thought about it for a second.

“We can’t do that! We have to bring our own dish. That’s how it’s supposed to work.”

“I guess you’re right,” said Morris. “Never mind.”

Marjorie dropped something in the next room and Gary turned around so quickly he knocked one of the pies onto the ground. It was blueberry.

“Nooo!” he said, as the pie crashed to the floor.

Morris laughed and then got to work.

“Well, it looks like you’ve accidentally made the first move!” he said.

“Alright, let’s do this!” Gary replied.

“It’s going to be a very merry… berry… Christmas!” Morris said with a chuckle.

The pie was face-down on the floor, so Gary and Morris flipped it over, then the two of them pushed it with their snouts into the back room. Once there, they started preparing their own dishes for the party.

The cats had decided to make wet food pies! These were pie plates stuffed with pate wet cat food, then adorned with dry food along the top.

When Marjorie finally came back into the kitchen, she found only four pies and a big old blueberry stain on the kitchen tile.

“Those darn kittens!” she said under her breath.

With the help of a Christmas-themed hand towel, she wiped up the blueberry mess and wrapped the rest of her pies in saran wrap. Once finished, she placed the remaining four pies in a cardboard box and put her winter coat on.

“Good night kitties! I won’t be late!” she said, then locked the door and headed out to her car.

Gary and Morris were watching out the front window to be absolutely sure when she was gone. As her car pulled away and down the driveway, the cats looked at each other and then ran over to the back of the house by the back porch light switch.

If Bullwinkle and Gilbert had done their job, a few flicks of the switch should have all their friends trotting across The Foundation property.

“Let’s do it,” said Gary.

Morris used his snout to pop the switch up and down, flickering the backlight and hopefully alerting their friends.

They waited for a little while until they saw some dark shadows emerge from the forest. One of them was very large with a head full of antlers.

“I think I see Bullwinkle!” said Morris.

As the animals made their way across the backyard, the cats ran out to the deck and waved them over to the shop.

“This way!” said Gary.

Morris opened up the garage door and everyone came inside. It was a wonderfully warm place with lots of space for animals of all sizes. The cats had already dragged a box of Christmas decorations down from Marjorie’s storage area and into the shop so all the animals could help them put them up and feel the holiday spirit.

Interestingly, one of the feral strays Marjorie feeds in the shop was still in there. When all the other animals came inside, he ran to the back as there wasn’t a chance to escape, and now with all of them putting up decorations and having fun, he wasn’t sure what to do. Gary felt bad for the cat and walked over to him.

“Hey there! I’m Gary. This is Morris. What’s your name?”

“My name is Wilson,” the cat replied. “What’s going on?

“We are about to have supper together. We had a cookoff,” said Morris.

“What is that?” asked Wilson.

“It’s something we learned from our mom, or as you know her, the human that left the food out here for you. Each attendee was asked to make their own meal and when we got together, we would share them, then choose who we felt made the best one.”

Wilson thought for a minute. He had to be careful all his life. Being a feral stray, it wasn’t easy surviving alone. His instincts weren’t going off this time though. He felt safe around these animals.

“What is that big one?” he asked, nodding towards Bullwinkle.

“That is Bullwinkle. He is a moose,” said Gary. “Don’t worry. He’s friendly.”

Wilson slowly lifted his head, then depuffed himself and carefully followed Gary and Morris over to the group.

The animals were all in a great mood. They were chatting, sharing stories about their winter so far, and best yet, about the struggles they had making dishes to bring tonight.

The raccoons were there, and they brought with them a bunch of vegetable trays they had pilfered from the local grocery store.

The foxes brought some wildberry wine they’d put together. Bullwinkle had roasted some willow branches over the fireplace in his cabin, and Lou had found some wild mushrooms.

A pair of rabbits from their part of the forest joined them – and they brought some fried flowers they’d prepared over the fall.

Gary and Morris were both really excited to reveal their wet food pies, but more than anything, they couldn’t wait to share Marjorie’s blueberry pie.

“Oh wow!” said all the animals when they saw the blueberry pie.

“That looks human-made!” said Papa Raccoon.

“Okay, disclaimer, this pie was made by our mom back inside the house,” said Gary.

“We don’t eat fruit or sugar,” Morris added. “So we each made our own wet food pies. Come enjoy!”

The animals looked at the cat food pie, and save for a handful of them, they all groaned.

“We eat plants and sticks,” said Lou. “That smells awful!”

“I think it smells delicious!” said Wilson.

“Hello there!” said Lou. “My name is Lou. It is nice to meet you.”

“My name is Wilson!” he replied.

The other animals all introduced themselves, too, then presented their meals to the group. Save for the cats, everyone absolutely loved Marjorie’s blueberry pie. The cats, on the other hand, devoured the savoury cat food pie Gary and Morris had prepared. Dave the fox and some of the raccoons also got in on some of that action.

Everyone was chatting and laughing and loving the food. It felt like a real Christmas dinner with friends – everyone was having a wonderful time. The Christmas cookoff was an undeniable success.

“Okay! Time to vote everyone!” said Gary.

The cats went dish by dish and got everyone to raise a paw, a wing, or a hoof, and a clear winner was found.

The winner was… Marjorie. The woodland animals loved her pie so much they couldn’t help but vote for it.

“Mom wins!” said Gary.

The animals all stuck around for a while until they heard Marjorie’s car pull back into the driveway and saw the headlights shine across the windows of the garage.

“Goodnight, everyone! Time to clear out!” said Morris, as he opened up the garage door.

The animals all grabbed their things and took off. Just as Wilson was almost out the door, Gary turned to him and told him, “Wilson, you should stay tonight if you want. Merry Christmas!”

“Merry Christmas to you, too, you guys!” Wilson replied.

The cats headed back inside the house, just before Marjorie stepped in the door. When she did, they jumped up into her arms, purring up a storm.

“Hello, boys! I won the cookoff tonight!” she said. “Everyone loved my pies!”

Gary and Morris looked at each other and smirked.

“And don’t we know it!” they said.